PAUSE and RE-FOCUS

PAUSE and RE-FOCUS

Allow me to share my morning Devo…

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”
Philippians 1:6 NLT

This is EXACTLY what I needed. I have been really preoccupied with a lot of things recently that I have forgotten to pause and check where I am right now. I have been running and trying to catch up on things as if I am running against time. I was in a hurry, always rushing into work-related tasks, trying to pour my efforts and time on them and yet they all come out half-baked and unprepared. I was always dishonoring my time in going home that I end up getting fewer hours of sleep than before – resulting in more problems in the morning as it gets more difficult to wake myself up. I used to be someone who strictly honors time and hates procrastination, however, things are not happening as it should be…

PAUSE and CHECK.

I am clearly not in the correct alignment to what, where, and who God wants me to be. I need to PAUSE every now and then to check myself. I used to come to work earlier than the expected time from me and I used to come home at a reasonable time. My recent time-outs were not reasonable and I would be able to realize it by the time I am already suffering the sleep deprivation. While not eating on time is sometimes a deliberate action on top of this sleep deprivation, I know I am not taking care of my health that well and in times that I would feel feverish, I couldn’t blame it on anyone or anything else because I am aware of what these would entail and yet, I still do it.

17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. James 4:17 NLT

In my understanding, I must work double and triple times than I could and I should, I sometimes even bite more than what I can chew so that I can be a good employee and catch up on the backlogs that were already present even before I join the company. Honestly, I am ashamed of what the company pays me with the results I am producing and I think I am being hard on myself every time I realize that; I am getting vulnerable with the pressures on my shoulders when I know for a fact that I can work really well if I am not micromanaged. I was trying to control things around me and I know I am slowly failing at it. These past few weeks, I have been in a struggle that I am actually dragging myself to work because I have to even though I am not feeling well. I used to spend 60%  to 70% of my day in work but now, as I check myself, I thought I am pushing for 80% to 90% already and I STILL think that I am not producing results. This is not good.  When we don’t do what we are expected to do in the workplace, we blame others, we make excuses, we talk too much, and we even point back to the boss. The attitude of the heart is way greater than the results of the KRA. Christian Faith gives you a new identity without which work can sink you. You are not what you do. If the quality of your work will be the measure of your worth, it’ll sink you. But… If you do what you do in the name and Glory of the Lord, you will be rewarded. I must have the correct view of my work.

I was reminded of the Laws of Harvest (Galatians 6) and yes, ‘We Can’t Do Anything About Last Year’s Harvest, But We Can About This Year’s. I cannot redo anything and if God intended these reapings for me, then His Will be done. While these could sound terrifying, I must not lose strength and I must not be weary as I know all of these are graces from God. I was reminded that we must not escape the pressures of life. Instead, I need to embrace and understand them. If I cannot understand them, I can never manage them.

This is a poem Ptr. Vincent Burke shared in the Sunday service:

The Indispensable Man
(by Saxon White Kessinger)
Sometime when you’re feeling important;
Sometime when your ego ‘s in bloom;
Sometimes when you take it for granted,
You’re the best qualified in the room:
Sometimes when you feel that you’re going,
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how they humble your soul.
Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining,
Is a measure of how much you’ll be missed.
You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you’ll find that in no time,
It looks quite the same as before.
The moral of this quaint example,
Is to do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There’s no indispensable man.

I was really struck with this poem’s message and I have to shake my head in dismay of what I am really doing with my life. I would be blogging about #LIFEGOALS soon so, I must stop this here now as I might not have anything left to say about ‘Success at Work’. Lol. Daldal kasi eh! Hahaha!

Well, not just I am talking about work but also in my commitment to my ministry. I serve two ministries, I am part of a DGroup and I know God placed me there for a reason. I volunteered my God-given talents such as I can magnify Him but if my DGroup leader is feeling like I am lukewarm on my commitments, then I am definitely stepping on a wrong foot. My DGroup is my Spiritual Mirror and I CANNOT disregard the fact that I am missing out already and if not, I am missing out on the time because I am always running late for them. I found myself saying, ‘Huy Lyza, palagi ka kayang perfect attendance dati.’ SINCE WHEN DID I BECOME AN ADVOCATE OF TARDINESS?!?!?!?!?!?! I honestly don’t know. I try to crunch time on what I think that matters at the expense of what truly matters – and that is my personal relationship with Jesus.

14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
15 Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. 16 But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.
17 Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. 18 For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. 20 But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. Philippians 3:14-20 NLT

I am so thankful for God’s unending love for He is always reminding me that I started strong and focused and that it is important for me to finish the race STILL strong and focused. I must always fix my eyes on Jesus and what He has done for me. Easy to say but Impossible to do – if not with the Holy Spirit guiding me.

And when I thought my work and ministry are the only things I need to catch up on, then I was terribly wrong. My mom just recently called out on my ‘activities’ and she could not bear silence anymore. I felt a pang in my heart when I knew that she is now starting to doubt CCF’s effects on me. I know my mom loves me so much and she seeks only for my highest good. I felt pain when I started to doubt my ministry because I know I should never doubt God’s works on me and I just ended up confused and guilty at the same time. I praise God for Czar, for praying for me that day. Her prayers reminded me of my track and of my race. I was crying inside and I couldn’t burst out my cries because I know that all of these are my fault. I was running really fast and well-paced before. What my mom thinks really do matter to me and I was not thinking right back then. God wants to correct me and He knows that my mom has a huge impact on me – that I will surely listen to her. I felt disciplined without physical hurt.

5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children?[a] He said,
“My child,[b] don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.
6 For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”[c]
7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. 9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?[d]
10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
12 So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. 13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.
A Call to Listen to God
14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Hebrews 12:5-14 NLT


PAUSE and RE-FOCUS.

I was near the edge of a crossroad. My work, ministry, family, life, and everything came from God and I must not forget WHY I started. Everything I have right now is a GIFT from God and my Faith is becoming shallow whenever I forget Him. My purpose here on earth should not be defined by the pressures of work, ministry, and family. I knew I am slowly losing my joy in things I used to love to do but now this has got to stop. I am praying for God to intercede in my life and place me back on track, to provide me with strength and wisdom to help me run back again to Him, and for the Holy Spirit to guide me discern everything else in between.

TOTAL SURRENDER.

Dahil makulit ako, I know I am trying to regain control of my life like before but the Holy Spirit is convicting me otherwise. God knows I am terrible at managing my fears in life and His works in me remind me of His unchanging love and that I am a fool for doubting His power. Jesus did not die for me to grow weak and weary. I know that my limit on God’s provision depends on my Faith. My Real Faith starts when I do not STOP obeying God’s words. My faith is not as important as the OBJECT of your Faith. My Faith starts when I truly Surrender.

It is true that the more we know God, the more vulnerable we are with Sin – distracting us from our focus. I trust God that He will never leave me and will always guard my heart as I run this race; I will continue to enjoy this rest I have in Him and this unspeakable joy in my heart will continue to overflow in my works in the workplace, ministry and definitely in my family.

Will you pray for me as well? Thank you for reading this far.
Now, how can I pray for you?

Leave a Comment

%d bloggers like this: