How it All Began: My Testimony

I am writing this out of the overflowing love I have received from Jesus. May it serve as an encouragement to everyone who reads it…

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV

I am afraid to go all out on this because of the persecutions that may follow, and I know that following Christ has a cost. I was raised in a Catholic family that observes all its traditions and practices. I also studied in a Catholic school from kindergarten to high school. I was firm in my beliefs and even lived out to the mottos of my favorite Saints as if they were my idols in life. I thought Jesus was a Genie who could make wishes come true, and if my wishes were not granted, then I wouldn’t have heard enough. I used to pray repetitively and memorized all the prayers required in school. Name the prayer, and I can recite them all flawlessly. This made my family proud as I always got chosen to do the readings and lead prayers in front of the church, but honestly, I never felt any connection to those activities. I feel like I was fulfilling the required steps to obtain my place in Heaven.

Before meeting Jesus, I was a mess — not just any mess, but a huge mess. I was a terrible daughter to my parents, and I even let pride get in the way. I grew up not speaking my thoughts out loud in the house, and when conflicts arise, I always end up hating my life, which is brought by bitterness and rage, without saying a thing. I was bottled up inside. My dad, who lives abroad, couldn’t get hold of my attitude and constantly failed to reach out to me as I entertained my grudge towards him. I hated him for being away and making things complicated as I was born out of wedlock, and I felt like I was hidden away from his world. He provided me with money to support me in school, and with my heart growing cold, I attributed my dad to money, saying that if there were no money given, then I wouldn’t have a dad. For twenty-six years of growing up, I firmly believed that I was under-fathered or fatherless.

I redirected all my energy and time to get good grades in school consistently, and I was doing great in attaining a high academic status. I also managed to secure my place among the top students of my time. I actively secured notable contributions in extra-curricular activities that honed my social skills and talents. This went on up to College, wherein I graduated Cum Laude in one of the known Universities in the Philippines. I knew I was a terrible person, but for me, as long as I do good in school, I feel like every sin I make will be covered up by my achievements. I was an overachiever for no one but for myself.

As a smart kid, I had no clear view of how bad sin was until reality hit me. I made friends with people I knew wouldn’t bring good and eventually corrupted my character. I can drink almost any alcoholic drink any man can create and not get drunk. I was proud, and I even accepted challenges in drinking against men who would eventually lose because I knew I would never be drunk. I have never vomited before because of too much drinking, and for a girl, I felt super. I even tried smoking and even tried using Marijuana just a couple of times and immediately stopped because I never liked it. I knew drugs would never do good. I eventually stopped smoking just because I lost places to hide in the house, and it was a hassle not to smell like a cigarette when talking to another person. I stopped because I eventually wouldn’t say I liked the smell. You can also see me in bars and clubs, and I would sometimes sneak out in the middle of the night to party as long as I came home before anyone noticed I was gone. Wala pa mang “Ninja Moves” na salita dati pero feeling ko Ninja na ako noon.

I was a liar and a good one. I can look a person straight in the eyes and would not stutter in lying. I knew it was better to make up stories with airtight alibis than to get caught. My family knew nothing as long as I kept good grades – I lived in disguise just because of the reputation I knew I worked hard for. I sail my ship, and this is my life. — I was a fool back then. I was Godless, Fatherless, Loveless, Friendless, Empty, and Lost.

I loved boys I knew would love me because of my looks, and men I knew would never see me in their future. He was a serial womanizer, and I was a foolish forgiver. I kept accepting him back even if I knew he was fooling behind me and with constant patterns. I thought that having premarital sex with your partner was a requirement to have a long-lasting and robust foundation in the relationship, and with the help of birth control pills and my ninja moves, I was fearless. I have done all sorts of things I thought mattered – premarital sex, abortion, and other things I will never be proud of. I was once in a 7-year relationship when God allowed me to break into a million pieces.  I was not just broken; I was shattered. The thought made me cry even during work, and I kept asking myself if something was wrong. No love left for me since I poured it out all on him. I was afraid that no man could ever love me again because I felt I was dirty inside and out.

I begged God to pull out all the care I have for him and that I never wanted to cry ever again just for the same foolish reasons. I couldn’t explain how fast things went, but I believe God moved in mysterious ways only He can orchestrate. 2005 to 2012 were dark years, yet God saved me day by day. He pulled me out of a relationship that NEVER glorified Him and weed out the people whom I thought were my friends. God never left me stripped down with nothing, but He ensured I met the right ones.

In 2013, a high school friend, Jill, invited me to dance for the Lord at CCF Eastwood, and for the first few months, I wanted to pick up the broken pieces and fix myself. I enjoyed it a lot and met new friends, however, I had this guilt feeling that I am just doing it for the sake of dancing and not to glorify God. I do not even listen attentively when a sermon or a Devo is about to happen. I was still lost, and eventually, I stopped attending. I also stopped attending our local church as the priests were too opinionated about the government, and it seemed like a ‘rant hour’ rather than a Holy one. In a more profound sense, the traditional church setup and religious traditions of the Catholic church became meaningless, and it just supported my indifference to the Faith.

Also, in 2013, I met a Christian man who made me fall in love with him without using his hands, but we did not enter a relationship until mid-2015 because he wanted me to love Jesus first before anything else. He pursued me for a year, and he knew my story. I was afraid to be judged, but surprisingly, after hearing my story, he asked me two things. 1. Were you sorry for what you did? I answered “ yes” and 2. Will you ever go back to those deeds again? I replied, “No.” he hugged me and accepted me as I was. I thought being with a Christian man would instantly fix me, but I was too weak for evil. I pulled my boyfriend out of the light and into the dark with me. It went on for a year, but on our 1st anniversary, my boyfriend took a stand for his beliefs. He wanted to stop the worldly things between us as he chose his ministry over me. I was angry at him for petty reasons because I couldn’t get what I wanted. To be clear, it’s sex. He never wanted a relationship bounded by lust, and he made it clear in front of me, and he said that he wanted to keep me pure and I would be his reward in the future. Natauhan ako. I realized he was slowly pulling me out from the dark and into the light with him, where I could see who his God was. He loves God more than anyone else. I saw how God worked in his life and was encouraged to know his God.

In November 2016, when I went back to CCF alone, I wondered if I could stay committed to knowing Jesus, and it was a timely session as they were studying the Book of John. It was a perfect start to knowing Jesus’ life! Jill guided me back and was happy for me to be back. In February 2017, I committed myself to B1G Fridays, and my first goal was to meet new people, but surprisingly, the Lord had better plans for me, and on my 3rd B1GFridays session, I met this God-fearing woman who is now my DGroup Leader, Czar. It was not a smooth start because I was back-sliding. My boyfriend knew everything about my struggles and what kept holding me back, and he said nothing but this verse,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV

Following Christ is never easy for me. Growing up in a strict Catholic family complete with traditions tested my Faith and my Will to know the Lord. It is genuinely a walk-on-water experience! I finally attended the True Life Retreat last April 2017, wherein I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and God orchestrated and made everything possible for me to attend. My family had a week’s trip and had the house alone, which, by the way, rarely happens! It is perfect to have quiet time and prepare myself for the retreat. God ensured I would feel closer to home as the Holy Week True Life Retreat was an in-house one (perfect for me, who doesn’t like overnights), and two speakers are from CCF Eastwood! The retreat was indeed an eye-opener of God’s love for us, and He even gave His Only son, Jesus, to keep us close in His heart.

I realized why I was afraid and worried back then. I kept thinking about how Jesus would save and love a SINNER like me when I started believing and following Him, and I AM ALREADY SAVED! I was at a loss for God’s love for me, but I praise Him for never leaving me behind. I forgave myself for the wrong decisions and even trying to sail and navigate my ship. God took the baby from me because He doesn’t want it to be out of sin, and He is preparing me for something greater. It was Ptr. Ricky said that God the Father sometimes gives us what we want so that we can discover that what we want is not always what we need. God never allowed me to get drunk because He made me strong. God never allowed me to inflict pain on myself despite everything because He has better plans for me. God never left me broken and alone in that wicked relationship because He wanted me to seek Jesus. God never stopped pursuing me because He needed to thaw my stone-cold heart. God never stopped guiding me all those years because He is about to call me. God honed me into who I am and what I can do because He knows I can glorify Him. I cried a lot while taking this journey because I tried to obey Him; this joy that I’m feeling now is all because of Him! I am here, and what I am now is all because of His Saving Grace! Amazingly, God moved intentionally into my life. My boyfriend and I have been repenting for our sins since 2016, and I honestly never felt this secure in Jesus’ love. I have repented of my sins and entirely depend on God’s plans. God mended my family relationships, especially with my dad, and I am thankful.

“But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.” 1 John 4:4 NLT

John and I got married in 2022, and despite being married, the Lord still impressed us to serve the singles. We started this Mixed DGroup to guide Married and Single people in their spiritual walk through relatable advice from our testimony and based on God’s words—with both single ladies and men. We serve in a couples ministry, including CCF Eastwood Across, Women2Women, and MoveMENt. 

I now live not by the mottos of many saints nor live according to strict religious beliefs; I only live for Jesus and to this truth:

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8 NIV

I am a sinner, saved, and need constant reminders. I thought hiding my feelings and world from my mom would bring her sound, but no. I hurt her and inflicted pain on her twice as much because of this. When I confessed everything to her just this recently, she forgave my sins because she loves me, but she felt pain as I had forgotten to include her already in my world. I have striven hard at work for her and would love to give for her in the future so that she would no longer need to work, but I was looking far ahead of myself. We had a long, sensible talk, and for the first time, I felt we communicated well. I was too afraid of being imperfect in her eyes that all she wanted was a daughter who would include her in her world — ups and downs, heartbreaks, troubles, and needs. All she wanted was value to my world; she has been and will always be. I now understand where we lack. We need to work on showing love and affection in ways we can both understand. My mom knows how mighty God is and shared with me how she clings only to God. I am a prodigal daughter, and I praise God for providing us the time to talk and giving me the courage to take a massive step in mending my fractured relationship with my mom.

Please continue to pray for me in this journey to make Christ known through the transformation in my life and to make Christ known to my family and friends. Pray that I will never run away from our Father’s love and always choose Him above all else. Pray that I may have a persevering and humble heart for Jesus. I know this testimony will result in chaos, and I will eventually lose my family’s trust and reputation, but what else do I have to lose? I have new-found brothers and sisters in Christ, my forgiving and loving parents. I have found my sweet spot, and I know I have Jesus in my heart; I am a work in progress who entirely depends on our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I am Lyza Bumanglag. I am a child of God, unblemished, whole, pure, made perfectly beautiful in His eyes, and I know that this is the best decision I have made in my life.

To God be All the Glory!