Words He will Never Hear

It is exactly a month since my father died.

Last August 26, 2018, Jesus called papa in his sleep to join Him in heaven to play bowling nonstop. I praise God for the peaceful passing and for the testimony of how God’s great love for us meld our relationship back. Papa is a believer and a follower of Christ and when I shared to him my testimony, he gave the best ‘fatherly love and advice’ a daughter could ever receive.

My father and I weren’t in perfect terms for years I could remember just because my heart was full of grudge, hate, and self-righteousness.  You can read my testimony how I wasted papa’s years of love and affection. I grew up knowing I’m an only child (well, of my mom that is). My dad was never perfect and he will never be even close to perfection but I know God sent me the best set of earthly parents He see fit for me.

Since papa was buried in the states, I only watch from afar. I praise God for allowing social media as a tool for reaching out even burial services overseas. I also praise God for providing comfort and consolation to the family in Los Angeles. Papa is huge part of their lives.

Allow me to share these words I know he will never hear yet, I am hopeful to encourage other people.

Papa, thank you for not hiding me from the world, took responsibility, supported me, and even let me meet my siblings and the whole side of your family. I know it was never easy for you and my mom but I understand that you had to make it right with God and lived faithful to your wife right after. I admire your heart that you have supported all of us in ways you could. It is difficult and painful to think back of the wasted time and years but I praise God for the opportunity to meet your family. I am blessed with siblings who know Christ as well.

I love you papa and I’m surely gonna miss our chats. I’ll surely miss telling you my achievements and that I will be soon graduating in an HR Mentoring program I spoke to you about few months ago. You always knew my hunger for knowledge and you are happily feeding me with support because you are confident that my learnings won’t go to waste in the future. I know you are in the best place now. I’m sure you’ll have endless bowling games there while eating unlimited pistachio nuts. You won’t get tired in watching telenovelas up there in heaven and you can even build your own race track and win nonstop! 🙂

Please pray for strength and that may God be with everyone who loves papa or came to know papa. My prayers also go to papa’s family that they may find comfort and joy in Jesus.

““Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.”” John‬ ‭14:1-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

May they feel the warmth of Jesus’ love and joy through the Holy Spirit. Praying for the whole Bautista family as well. There may be words left unsaid, plans left undone, promises left unfulfilled, but I praise God that the love you left will never be unfelt. I love you, Papa.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Hebrews‬ ‭12:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I’m holding unto Jesus’ promise for papa’s place in His kingdom not because of his good works when he was alive but because he did his best to live as a true follower and a believer. He tried to live a good earthly father to us, in whichever way he could and I will forever cherish those collected memories.

““Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.”” John‬ ‭14:1-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

There is Hope for me as a daughter to be more intentional in loving my mom, tita Cristy, and the rest of the family/families who continue to support me in whichever way they can – probably more than they should. Praying that they may all see and experience Jesus of the Bible, the way it is written.

I hope and pray that this may encourage everyone who is currently experiencing grief and loss to not lose heart and allow God’s love and comfort work in and through the brokenness; May God’s Saving Grace fill all our hearts. Please continue to pray for me and the rest of the family that we may all finish strong in this race of life just as papa did.

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