Heart Check: Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting
I am thankful for the mid-year prayer and fasting as it reminds me to take a pause from the daily hullabaloos and to check if my heart is still aligned with God’s will.
For the first 6 months of 2019, God has blessed me immensely and I couldn’t ignore the fact that He is truly faithful to His promises.
31 So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”John 8:31-32 NASB
The first few months for 2019 was full of my stubbornness and I know I had difficulties in juggling my work and my volunteering activities. Despite it all, God allowed me to learn how to drive through my obedience to my boss – who pushed me to learn on a daily basis. God allowed me to drive a company car despite my reluctant heart. Tears dropped while pulling up my first drive to CCF Eastwood one Sunday morning and it made me realize how stubborn my heart is when it comes to obedience. I started attending CCF Eastwood because of my friends picking me up and dropping me off, then started my way alone commuting until such time He provided me the means for weekly grab drives. Seeing it in a big picture, it was definitely Grace upon Grace upon Grace. I will never deserve any of these yet here I am.
There were also a lot of changes in my D12 schedules and even in my own DGroup that we needed to address so that we could accommodate everyone’s availability. I know for a fact that I can no longer think of my schedule out of my own convenience but truly for God’s Glory. By God’s grace, we are continuously sustained in our weekly gatherings.
I also had a few months of trouble with my health as the workload and work conditions triggered my blood pressure. It was still a surprise for me until today that for a low-blood like me, how could I possibly develop a high blood pressure? Well, I’m definitely no expert on that so, I humbly submitted to the authorities to sleep early, take less and less late-night activities, and make mindful decisions on what I eat. With a regretful heart, this made me step down from B1GFridays as a facilitator.
I also had to take a pause from my HR Mentoring volunteering activities for the first half of the year. It was a sudden hiatus because I had to catch up on all the workload and to focus on fixing my HR Team. I know I committed to volunteering in the HR Mentoring Community but my present job should be my priority as of now.
Everything that I was part of was slowed down by God and I praise Him for allowing me to rest from time to time and to grow in my career and spiritual path at the same time. Looking on God’s greatness, I may have eaten my stubborn heart but, I acquired a skill – driving. I may have stepped down as a B1GFridays facilitator but, my spiritual growth continued as a B1G Content Writer. I may have paused in the HR Mentoring Community but, my HR team now is improving a lot and I am learning more about the actual experiences I am receiving from my company.
Jesus heals our hearts and minds as we surrender ourselves to Him. Even whenever I thought I am doing so well in whatever, He reminds me to never forget who gave me those blessings. Admittedly, we often forget those details when we are already enjoying the blessings and it convicts me every time I think about it. Sometimes, I see myself ungrateful, egoistic, and selfish of me to think that I got them all by my own. I will never get ANYTHING right on my own. I already did that yesteryears and it was all wrong. Lol.
I praise God for the constant reminders and daily opportunities to awe in His wonder. All praises and glory indeed, to Jesus’ matchless name!
“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;Romans 8:26 NASB